// jokes and quotes for mjbse front page var quotes=["High quality, reliable engineering design services.", "“We thought we had hired a genius, but it turns out he was just a guy impersonating an English accent.” - Dilbert", "To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.", "Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.", "During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, NASA decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules.
After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of $1 million. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth.
Engineers in the Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.", "A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a software engineer are travelling in an old Fiat 500 (Bambino) when all of the sudden the car backfires and comes to a halt.
The mechanical engineer says “Ah! It's probably a problem with the valves, or the piston.”
The electrical engineer says “Nonsense! It's most probably a problem with the spark plugs or the battery.”
The software engineer says “How about we all get out of the car, and get back in again.”", "Real engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.", "Question: What is the sum of 2 + 2?
An accountant will say “Four.”
A mathematician will say “I believe it is 4, but I will have to prove it.”
A statistician will say “The population is too small to give an accurate answer, but on the basis of the data supplied the answer lies between 3 and 5.”
An engineer will say “The answer is 4, but adding a safety factor we will call it 5.”"]; var r=parseInt(quotes.length*Math.random()); document.write(quotes[r]);